“I do not understand,” my husband’s voice is soft and
pained. I open my eyes and struggle to focus on his face. He is kneeling beside
me where I lay on the cold snow. “I loved you as my wife. My people took you
in. And you betrayed us. You have shamed my name and killed so many innocents
with your false words.”
He is
right. But this was not supposed to happen.
I did not
mean for people to die. All I wanted was to move back home, to live with my
family again. I never wanted to be married off to some stranger from a different
tribe. I never wanted to leave my parents, my friends. I never wanted any of
this. But it is too late. It is too late for my family. It is too late for me.
We are all dead.
I had to
lie. It was the only way my people would ever take me back after being married
off. I had to tell them falsely that my husband’s tribe had greatly mistreated
me. Barbarians, I said. Monsters, I called them. My words began
a war. My words killed.
When my
people set off to fight the other tribe, I should have told them that I was
lying. But then they might have killed me.
I told myself then that things would not be so bad, that the tribes would fight
a while and soon forget their quarrel.
I never
thought that my people would murder innocent women. But that is just what they
did. They ransacked the village while the men were away and killed every woman
they saw. The village I once lived in with my husband. I knew those women. They
welcomed me with open arms. They treated me like family. And now…now they are
all dead. Just like I will be.
My father
is dead. And my brothers, and cousins…slaughtered by my husband’s tribe, just
like all the men from my village. What could my people expect after the
brutality they displayed on my behalf? At least my husband’s tribe spared the
women’s lives. Now the women of my tribe will serve as replacement wives for
the ones my people robbed of life. All except me.
Even now,
the life drains out of me. The snow around me darkens with crimson. The world
is fading. I wish I could make this right. I wish I could take back my lie. I
wish…
“I do not
understand,” my husband repeats, louder this time. He is angry now. That is
good. Anger will lessen his sadness. “Why did you cause such tragedy?” he
yells.
I cannot
answer. I have no strength left in me to speak. And what would I say if I did?
There is no excuse for what I have done, for this unfortunate chain of events
that led to so many deaths. Including my own.
(Community of Igloos by Charles Francis Hall, 1865) |
Brianne, I liked how you made the story from the perspective of the wife. Then instead of making the story a story, you added emotional sympathy by having it become the recollection of what the wife was thinking. The story was well though out and included nice description as well, with the snow turning crimson around her. I also like how you added the part about the wife being glad that the husband’s anger would overcome the sadness because it allows the reader to also think of who has been affected by the actions of the wife.
ReplyDeleteI thought your story was fantastic! The opening line instantly grabbed my attention and made me want to read more. The story was very well written and very dramatic. The purple background of your page actually added to the drama and seriousness of the story. It felt like it reflected the somber feelings of the characters in the story. Excellent job! This story is definitely one of my favorites!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the title of this story. It instantly made me want to read the story. Also, your author's note did a really great job of explaining the motivation behind your writing. It really makes a story more interesting to read when you cane tell the person was genuinely inspired in some form to write what they did. Good job!
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